he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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