You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He had one of those small greek statue penises
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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