dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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