Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So much rum. So many feels.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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