My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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