She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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