perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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