Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
