I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
