I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Randomize
