I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
