I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize