I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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