I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
