No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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