i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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