my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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