i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize