Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
