the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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