then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
