Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
