I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
