i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
