Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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