someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
where are my eyebrows?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize