in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
