my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
