He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
