Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
