summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Canβt fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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