whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Welp...herpes.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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