i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
