I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
