Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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