Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I AM VODKA MAN
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
