Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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