if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
A bitchslap is in order.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
