The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
