he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
How naked do you want me to be?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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