Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
