Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
