I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
