You don't have asthma, your pregnant
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
