I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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