Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
