were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
