i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
