Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
