yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
