Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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