New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
