I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
