I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
