Girls should come with a carfax report
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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