I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
