just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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