5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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