Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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